Sexual Behaviors in Youth - The Mama Bear Effect

Addressing Juvenile Sexual Abuse & Problematic Behaviors

There are numerous factors that impact sexual behaviors in youth; problematic behaviors are not necessarily a sign that a child is destined to become an adult offender. By being proactive and working to educate children about healthy and respectful behaviors, and knowing what situations can increase risk and how to minimize them, we can absolutely decrease sexual offenses committed by children and adolescents.

Inappropriate sexual behaviors or abusive behavior between children are more common within families than with children unrelated to the perpetrator. Incest perpetrated by juveniles can occur between siblings or cousins, with the perpetrator usually older, stronger, and/or cognitively advanced. In some cases the victim may be older but cannot defend themselves, or the victim may have cognitive challenges due to a medical diagnosis or injury. Many families fail to address the risk of incest due to lack of awareness, willful blindness, and or neglect.

What We Know – Juvenile Sexual Abuse is a Serious Issue

As much as 35-40% of child sexual abuse is estimated to be perpetrated by juveniles. This can involve incest – abuse between siblings, cousins, or also peers and other juveniles in a trusted relationship or with access to children – a babysitter, the relative of a friend, someone in the neighborhood or a juvenile who works/volunteers with children as a camp counselor, etc.

Looking at the chart, we can see how there is a drastic increase in sexual offenses committed by juveniles starting at the ages of 11-13 years which coincides with puberty and sexual development.

Juvenile sexual offenders under the age of 12 are more likely to have experienced sexual abuse themselves, for others sexual curiosity is a common primary motivator, reflecting a lack of education and direction regarding their sexual development. Other children have a history of adversity and exposure to violence, and exhibit a history of disrespectful behaviors towards others.

Statistically, we know that adolescents that exhibit sexual behavior problems (children over the age of 12) are more likely to be male, while children (under the age of 12) with such issues are more evenly girls and boys.

Exposure to Pornography and Sexualized Influences

More recent research is showing that the sexual behaviors and knowledge of children is being affected by exposure to pornography. Is is now being estimated that children may unintentionally be exposed to pornography before they even begin puberty, and that they are mimicking the sexual acts they are exposed to. Teens are at a greater risk to experience violence in relationships with increased exposure to violent pornography and normalize sexually deviant behaviors and sexist attitudes.

Reducing Exposure to Pornography

It is not only important to set effective internet filters to reduce access to adult websites on devices that children use, it is also important for

parents and other adults to be mindful about their own use of pornographic sites. In many cases, children may accidentally come across such material as a result of using an adult’s device. For children that have not yet been taught about sex, or that sex is an act of love between two people, it can be very confusing and even traumatizing to view images that depict the opposite of what they have been told. It can also be confusing to a child to know that an adult they love and look up to, views such material – especially if they are in a committed relationship

It is also important to understand that abusers may use pornography as a way to groom children, they may do it actively – purposely sharing it with the child, or passively – leaving pornographic material so that a child may come across it on their own and explore it. This is done to desensitize the child to sexual acts, sexually stimulate them, and also groom them to reenact the behaviors they are exposed to.

Talking to Children About Pornography

Realistically, it’s not a matter of if our children will be exposed to pornography, but when.

Tips for making the conversation easier and empowering:

For younger children: be frank about the existence of images and videos on the internet and in movies that don’t follow the rules of keeping privates private. They might not understand exactly what this means, but it is important to share with them how we feel about these images and that it is not appropriate for people to show this kind of material to children. We want our children to tell us if they ever saw such images, and that they would not be in trouble.
Children may come across images that are not pornographic, but extremely sexualized. Sharing our values and explaining that the world does not always align with what we feels right can help them to understand that what they see doesn’t always reflect what is healthy and respectful.
Maintaining a calm attitude when talking about these issues will help children feel that this is something they can come to us to talk about. Using fear tactics or shaming in an attempt to dissuade children from seeking out pornography, or in response to discovering our child has been viewing pornography, may backfire and breakdown the chain of communication. We want our children to come to us with questions or concerns, no matter what.

Growing Numbers of Online Predators

While we know that a serious amount of child sexual abuse images are produced by parents and people with consistent access to children, there has been exposure to the increase of online predators grooming children to sexually abuse their siblings or other children and share these images. Juveniles are being lured and blackmailed to sexually abuse other children, and as access to the internet and social media increase – risk of exploitation also increases.

What are Typical Sexual Behaviors?

Children are, by nature, curious about their bodies and the differences in physical attributes. Young children lack concern about nudity, respecting bodily boundaries in regard to touching their own body in front of others, or interest in the bodies of others. When we say these behavior are typical, that means they can be expected, it doesn’t necessarily mean that we should tolerate or allow them to continue without redirection. It is important to address some of these behaviors because they may be identified as a predator as an opportunity to initiate abuse, or if they continue – especially if it is behavior between two children, it may become problematic.

Typical Behaviors in Infancy to Age 4

Most behavior at this age is not motivated by sexual interests or knowledge, but rather the innocence and/or naiveté of children.

Hand to genital contact – can be unintentional due to lack of motor skills or frequent as motor skills improve
Touching or attempting to expose the breast of mother or other women – especially common in breastfed children
Preferring not to wear clothing or exposing their body to other people – children at this age generally have little to no concern for personal privacy relating to nudity
Curious about the bodies of others and interest in sharing their body parts – children may expose their genitals, pull up/down their clothing – this may increase if people find humor in the child’s behavior, children may do this to generate a response, even if it is negative – out of a desire to show defiance

Typical Behaviors in Early Childhood

Touching of genitals more often in private only – children grow in understanding that it is not appropriate to touch their genitals in front of others and generally grasp this concept within this age

Growing sense of privacy if promoted by adults – children will vary in their desire for privacy based on age, personality, situation, and how the concepts of privacy are taught/modeled to them

Teasing or joking about genitals – children may use slang words if they are introduced, they may call attention to what genitals people have based on whether they are male or female

Sexual curiosity/sharing of genitals may still occur with children of the same age – siblings, cousins, friends/peers

Children may act out romantic behaviors – they may want to kiss on the lips or hold hands

Typical Behaviors in Middle Childhood

Touching of genitals – nearly always in private

Increased desire for privacy, including from parents/caregivers

Seeking out images of nude/semi-nude bodies – especially if children have access to mainstream media, social media, internet

Increased interest in sexual attractions – either to peers or celebrities

Curiosity to kiss or engage in intimate behaviors with peers – playing spin the bottle, truth or dare, being a ‘couple’ with friends, siblings of close age, or other peers they know well

Atypical behaviors are less common and may require professional assessment and treatment to properly address.

Atypical Behavior in Infancy to Age 4

One or more of the below:

Touching of genitals that is causing pain or or physical harm – redness/abrasion, irritation, soreness
Behaviors that mimic adult sexual interactions – open mouth kissing, penetration of the vagina/anus with fingers or objects, mouth to genital contact – attempting on themselves or with others
Using dolls/stuffed animals/pets to act out one of the above sexual behaviors
Any sexual behaviors that are committed with anger/aggression or with intent to hurt themselves or another person/animal
Sexual behaviors that cannot be easily redirected – the child persists, is irritated by attempts to address their behavior

Atypical Behavior in Early Childhood

One or more of the below:

Touching of genitals that is frequent, in front of others, or is committed with aggression – during this age, neuro-typical children generally understand that touching their genitals in front of others is not appropriate, but when it becomes frequent and the child cannot be redirected or the child’s behavior seems overly-sexual it can become problematic

Knowledge of sexual acts, mimic sexual acts, open-mouth kissing, with other children, dolls, in drawings or in video games.

Frequent sexual behaviors – the child is preoccupied with sexual curiosity/behaviors – seeking out pornography, trying to see others in nude/semi-nude situations, masturbating multiple times per day
Engaging in sexual behaviors with children beyond their age – with children more than 3-4 years in age difference
Sexual behaviors that involve force, aggression, bribery, coercion, where one or more children are not willing, feels scared or are being hurtSharing of bodies/genitals with other children that is done with aggression, threats, bribes, and/or coercion

Atypical in Early Childhood Age 7-12

What Constitutes Problematic Sexual Behaviors?

Problematic sexual behaviors are those that are inappropriate for their age, cannot easily be addressed with intervention, and are potentially harmful or abusive towards themselves and others. While curiosity about genitals and bodies is typical for young children, it should be redirected through appropriate resources – using books and loving conversations on what is appropriate, respectful behavior. Sexual behavior involving a single child that is persistent and which the child does not respond to attempts to properly direct, may require professional advice and/or intervention.

Sexual behaviors that occur between children, especially if there is an age gap between the children involved, can be problematic for a variety of reasons. For example, an older child that should know their behavior is not appropriate, there is force or coercion, the sexual activity is beyond what would constitute typical knowledge of sex for their age, and/or it is causing distress or pain to either child.

Sexual behavior problems can involve only one child or interactions between children

Why Might Children Develop Problematic Sexual Behaviors?

It is natural to be concerned why a child may exhibit sexual behaviors beyond what is typical for their age. In many cases, we may not alway know the exact origin(s) for the behavior, what is most important is to address how best to correct the behavior.

Sexual Behaviors in Children Are not Always Deviant

Sexual behaviors in children are not always motivated by sexual deviancy. In many cases the child may develop sexual behaviors to cope with anxiety, anger/frustration, or in response to trauma. For example, a child may develop a nervous tic that involves touching their genitals – something which they may not even be totally aware of. Other children may use sexual behaviors as a coping mechanism to soothe themselves in response to stress.

Neglect, Abuse & Violence

Exposure to Pornography & Sexual Abuse

Children that have been exposed to pornography or have witnessed sexual acts, intentionally or unintentionally, or have experienced sexual abuse, may act out sexually in response to the stimulation or out of curiosity from witnessing these interactions. Sexual urges generally develop during puberty and children that have not been educated and guided in what constitutes appropriate and inappropriate sexual behaviors may adopt problematic behaviors – involving themselves or others, often with younger children, because they see them as an opportunity to explore their sexual curiosities.

Lack of Education and Boundaries

Bullying & Hazing

more than ever, we have access to resources that can help families heal and grow stronger

Responding to Sexual Behaviors

While it may be distressing to us as adults to witness or receive a disclosure of a child acting out sexually, it is important to remain calm, and focus on the fact that this child needs help – for themselves and also possibly for the safety and well being of others, now and in the future. We may be afraid of what people may say or think or if they knew – we may feel isolated and without support.

It is also important to remember that if your child acts out sexually or is the subject of inappropriate behavior or abuse by another child that it does not make you a failure as a guardian. It can take mere seconds for a violation to occur and as protectors we cannot guarantee that we will be able to prevent all abuse, but we can do our best to prepare ourselves and act responsibility and in a way that is focused on helping, not hurting the child(ren) involved.

For those of us who are survivors of childhood sexual abuse, it may be triggering to see inappropriate behaviors in children, it may bring out feelings of anger, anxiety, or hopelessness. But now more than ever, we have access to resources that can help children and families heal and grow stronger.

Key Factors to Positive Treatment Options for Children under 12

Family and Caregiver Support

Family and caregiver support and involvement is viewed as an essential part to a child’s treatment and success. Understanding how to address and redirect problematic behaviors and providing nurturing support for a child within the home is invaluable.

Ability to supervise the child’s behaviors at home/school/childcare etc
Focus on nurturing and supportive caregiving
Addressing how the child is disciplined
How boundaries, privacy, affection is promoted within the home
Identifying positive role models in the child’s life
Potential exposure to trauma or inappropriate behaviors/materials
Cultural/personal issues that may impact attitudes towards sexual behaviors

Identifying Non-Sexual Issues

Assessing the Behavior

Assessing the nature of the behavior is a key factor in addressing how to best correct and guide the child moving forward. Whether the behaviors involve the child alone, or if they include other children and how those situations are initiated – if they are planned or spontaneous, if coercion or aggression is used. It is also valuable to identify how the adults addressed the behavior and how the child responded in order to create a plan of how caregivers should correct future behaviors, what works best for that child, and the level of supervision that may be required. If there are other children in the home/school/childcare that are negatively affected by the child’s behavior it is important to identify and include this in planning.

Supportive Professional Intervention

Any interviews/session between the child and a professional should be of a nurturing, supportive nature. Interrogating a child in attempts to determine what may or may not have happened is not the end-goal. Children in such situations may have a history of trauma and the focus should be on addressing the behavior and giving the child to opportunity to build a sense of resilience and know that they have a support system that exists to help them. It is not recommended that children be assessed for ‘grooming behaviors’ or treated a predators, as their age limits a full development of empathy and understanding of consequences; children at this age are still grasping a sense of the seriousness of sexual behaviors and are still growing in their understanding of balancing their own wants/urges with the needs/wants of others.

For more on addressing problematic sexual behaviors in children under 12, you can read the full Report of the Task Force on Children with Sexual Behavior Problems

Key Factors to Positive Treatment Options for Adolescents Age 12+

It is important to remember that adolescents still lack the mental development as adults and the reasons why adolescents sexually offend or have sexual behavior issues are not the same as adults.

Accurate Assessment

Accurate assessment of a child who sexually abusive or problematic behavior requires a comprehensive approach and information from multiple sources and should be done by a professional who has experience with adolescent sexual behavior and stays current with the most up to date research and treatment therapies. They should be are fully aware and transparent regarding their ethical and legal responsibilities with the adolescent and their guardian(s) prior to beginning an assessment or treatment.

Risk of Future Offenses

Adolescent sexual offenders are said to be more likely to reoffend criminally with non-sexual offenses. It is important to address this risk and consider potential factors during assessment and treatment. Identifying risk factors related to the adolescent, their family life, and other factors that may have a negative or positive impact on their ability to cease the problematic or abusive behavior. If there are victims involved that will have direct contact with the child perpetrator, it is important to prioritize the safety and wellbeing of the child that was victimized.

Environmental & Caregiver Support

The support and guidance from parents and other influential adults is a critical part of creating an effective plan of action. If there are environmental situations that influenced their behavior (ex. neglect, access to pornography, negative peer relationships) and situations that enabled abusive behaviors and creating a safety plan – whether that means minimizing contact with other children, or possibly having the adolescent live elsewhere.

Other Factors - Learning Style, Culture, etc.

Co-Ocurrence of Other Mental Health Issues in Adolescents with Sexual Behaviors Issue:

Per the ATSA 2017 Practice Guideline, it was noted that a recent large meta-analysis found the following prevalence rates among adolescents who have sexually offended:

69% at least one mental disorder
51% Conduct Disorder
44% at least two mental disorders
30% at least one Substance Use Disorder
18% Anxiety Disorder (PTSD = 8%),
14% ADHD, and
9% Affective Disorder

The field of addressing sexual behavior issues and sexual abuse perpetrated by juveniles is continuously growing in knowledge and understanding. It is important that any practitioners treating an adolescent are committed to staying on top of research and connections with other professionals.

Resources

National Center on the Sexual Behaviors of Youth, HealthyChildren.org, StopitNow.org, National Child Traumatic Stress Network, ATSA.com

Share on Facebook

Save