It is our goal to make body safety conversations part of every day communication with children. These body safety coloring pages are free for families, teachers, advocates, youth organizations, and fellow nonprofits to download and distribute for classrooms, events, and presentations.
New! Every Child Has a Right Placemat
New! Child Abuse Prevention Month Coloring Page
Body Safety Rules Word Search
Promoting Bodily Autonomy
Teaching children that they are a the ‘Bosses of Their Body’ helps them learn that they have the right to decide how they want their body to be touched by others. In a world where a lot is not in their control, touches, hugs, kisses, cuddles, tickles, etc. are interactions that they can say yes or no to.
Boss of my Body Coloring Pages
Dueño de mi Cuerpo (Español)
Você é O Chefe Do Seu Corpo(Português)
A Note on Bodily Autonomy
From a very young age, our children depend on us to provide security and protection. When we force them to be held, kiss, or hug someone that they’re uncomfortable with – we’re telling them that their personal space and feelings are not important or in their control.
We’re essentially telling them that they should submit when a person of authority/power wants to engage in physical contact, even when they don’t want to. Abusers are not foolish, they understand the power they hold over the child and the assumption of others that their intentions are good.
Forced Affections is Not Respect
Respect is a mutual understanding between two people, regardless of age or position. Affection should also be mutual, and adults should respect a child’s right to engage in affection when they’re ready and willing, not because we think they should or because we know that our intentions are good.
And vice versa, our children should not be forcing someone else to take a kiss, a hug, or be touched/tickled. If someone says no, pushes or runs away, or seems uncomfortable – they need to stop and give that person space. We all deserve to have our personal space respected.
Private Parts & Privacy
While some touches, cuddles, tickles, etc. may be ok, it’s important to help children distinguish that if someone does that to their private part areas, it is not ok. Since most sexual abuse that involves young children is often perpetrated by a family member or someone that is trusted to care for the child, it is essential that this lesson be promoted at a young age.
A note on Private Parts
You may notice that we use the word ‘vulva’ rather than ‘vagina’ regarding private parts. Technically speaking, the vagina is the internal passage to the uterus. The vulva is the external part of female genitalia, which includes the labia, clitoris, and vaginal orifice, this is the part of the female anatomy that is actually visible.
We use the word ‘bum’ in reference to the buttocks, but you are, of course, welcome to use whatever word is common in your family. The buttocks, in general, are not a “taboo” body part, like penis/scrotum/vulva/vagina – hence, we believe, that some variation in terminology for the buttocks is fine, but teaching the correct word for genitalia is important so that children do not feel shame or embarrassment using or hearing the correct terms.
A Note on Instincts
Young children may feel hesitant about a lot of situations or people, this is normal and they look to us to establish a sense of security and protection. They need to know we will protect them and stand up for their right to feel safe, even if it’s something as harmless as sitting on Santa’s lap or your great aunt that couldn’t hurt a fly – it’s not about what we feel – the focus needs to be on how our children feel, now. As they mature, they will naturally become more comfortable in these situations; it is not helpful to try to force a child to “overcome” a fear – this often only backfires causing more anxiety for the child. Sometimes their instincts will be more on point than our own – do not disregard your child’s feelings! In the situation of “Noah” – he may have been unnecessarily afraid of his dad’s friend, Peter, or he may have sensed something that his parents didn’t – we may never know. With Sophia, it was definitely important for her to tell her mom, and rightly – her mom should have called Emily’s mother to talk to her about the incident. It may have been harmless or it may have been an indicator that something inappropriate was going to happen.
Regardless of the truth, if our children cannot trust us to be there for them, they may be discouraged from coming to us when they need the help of an adult. It is our job to take these opportunities, no matter how trivial they may seem to us, to bond with our children and let them know that we value their right to feel safe.
Empowering Against Grooming
Teaching children about appropriate and inappropriate behaviors is important because it helps them and us to identify a situation that could lead to sexual abuse. Regardless of a person’s intentions, these tips are important to creating and sustaining an environment that prioritizes the safety of children.
A Note on Surprises vs Secrets
Even convicted abusers have admitted being surprised by how easy it was to get a child to keep their abuse a secret. Secrecy is, obviously, essential for the abuser to victimize.
Many abusers will groom children by testing them to keep small secrets (don’t tell mom I gave you this) and then take it further. By teaching your children at an early age that secrets from mommy/daddy are not allowed, you are reducing the risk for this ploy to work on your child.
A surprise is one thing – because the end result will be the person finding out. A secret is not allowed. Lead by example and make sure the child and your friends/family know that secrets are not allowed – even if it’s just about sneaking some cookies before dinner.
A Note on Who Would You Tell
It is important to identify multiple adults that your child could trust to tell, if they ever needed help staying safe. A parent is a given, but oftentimes children hesitate telling their parents because they fear a backlash – being in trouble (for the abuse or an element of blackmail, say for example, their abuser gave them money, let them drink alcohol or do something they know they weren’t supposed to), getting their abuser in trouble, or just by creating a problem for the family to have to deal with. Grandparents or aunts/uncles are great, but also pick people that are also not related or a family friend – a teacher, a daycare provider (both are mandated reporters and are required by law, to report suspected or disclosed abuse by a child), a friend’s parent, a coach etc.
Let your child know that if anyone ever fails to believe or help them, that they must keep telling! Even big people sometimes let us down, but that is why we have multiple people in our circle.
Also – take the next step and talk to these people and let them know you and your child have chosen them as part of their “circle of safety.” Talk about what they need to know when it comes to handling a disclosure of abuse (and to know the potential signs of abuse).
Children are best protected when they are surrounded by a community of adults that are willing and prepared to defend them.