The school year is coming to an end, and there are endless requests and advertisements for summer babysitters, camps, playdates, carpools, and extended visits with family. We’re striving for the right balance between supervision and freedom, entertainment and healthy boredom. There are likely to be a variety of activities and people our children will be involved with, which means we need to remain vigilant and keep open communication about body safety.
Summer Sitters
Balancing childcare can be tricky during the summer, especially for older children who may not need as much supervision as they used to. Many parents will rely on high schoolers, day camps, time with extended family and friends. It is essential that these people are educated and committed to prioritizing safety from sexual abuse.
Safety Checklist
Here are some points to consider when entrusting another person with your child.
- This person is educated on the issues of child sexual abuse and knows you promote body safety with your child.
- This person supports bodily autonomy by respecting that children have a right to be touched appropriately and say ‘no’ to touches or signs of affections if they are not comfortable.
- This person acts as a role model and behaves appropriately with children, for example they do not consume alcohol or drugs while caring for children, expose children to second-hand smoke or engage in adult-only or sexualized conversations in front of or with children.
- You have observed this person spend time with your child and feel comfortable with their behaviors. If you are hiring a first-time babysitter you may want to start with a ‘trial’ day to watch their interactions with your child while you are home.
- In addition, if this is a new sitter, call references, and check out their social media profiles – there is no level of discretion that is too strenuous when it comes to entrusting someone with your child.
- Be leery of people who offer free or low-cost sitting, are willing to travel from great distances to babysit, or those that seem to frequently post their availability on babysitting sites or groups without much response.
- If you are leaving your child in the home of another person, you know who will be in the home and these people (adults and juveniles) are aware of your body safety rules,.
- You have expressed rules regarding any potential visitors within your home, taking your child out on errands, usage of smart devices, access to the internet, what your restrictions are for tv shows and movies.
- You have reminded your child that their personal safety is important to you, and that regardless of who is responsible for watching them, even family, that you are prepared to believe them if someone does something that is inappropriate.
- Your child feels safe and is not afraid or uncomfortable under the care of this person.
- When you are alone with your child, after having spent time alone with your child, it’s great to ‘check-in’ and ask if people respected one another and acted appropriately. You are vigilant for any changes in behavior or other symptoms your child is dealing with something that is causing them stress or anxiety.
Playdates, Visitors, and Neighborhood Fun
There is nothing better than knowing your children are under your watchful eye than hosting a playdate or letting them loose in the neighborhood to play with their friends outside. We can keep a few things in mind to improve safety by addressing situations that can increase risk for abuse.
Safety Checklist
- Promote an open door policy when children are playing indoors
- Occasionally check-in when children are playing out of your sight, for example in the basement, in an upstairs bedroom, or outside
- Set rules about entering the homes of other neighbors
- Make sure other children in your home understand your body safety rules, as a protective adult this may be a great opportunity to empower children who may not be receiving this information at home. Respecting each other’s privacy, listening when someone says ‘no’ or ‘stop’ and other body safety rules, like the ones on our Body Safety Fridge Magnet are simple and effective ways to educate children on the importance of appropriate behaviors.
- Increase observation when the age-difference between children is 3-5 years or more, especially when pre-teens or teens are at home. With as much as 40% of sexual abuse perpetrated by juveniles it is essential that we don’t drop our guard simply because of someone’s age (or gender).
Camps & Programs
Many youth-focused businesses and organizations offer camps during the summer. It can be a great way to keep children entertained and enrich their education while off school, but there are often no or minimal regulations for what these organizations and businesses need to do to prioritize safety from abuse. It may surprise you that sexual abuse prevention may not be addressed at all during the hiring, training, or overall policies created. Because many parents do not even think to ask or may not be sure how to go about addressing this concern, such situations can enable abuse.
Safety Checklist
- Do they screen potential applicants for previous allegations of sexual harassment or assault?
- Do they call references of past employment and ask about any concerns or complaints regarding their behavior with children or other staff?
- What policies do they have to reduce 1:1 situations, make it known that inappropriate touching or communication is forbidden?
- Do staff participate in a sexual abuse prevention training?
- If there is a situation where they receive a complaint of abuse regarding their staff will they inform parents?
Empower Children
Give your child a ‘safe word‘ that they can use to communicate to you that they need help. This can be especially helpful when they are in a situation where they don’t want to call the attention of others that they are uncomfortable or feel unsafe. It could be something like “I need my medicine” or a single word like “milk” that they can use in conversation at a party, on a phone call at a friend’s house, or text from down the street. When they use this word, they know that you will come to help them without question or delay.
Educating children continually doing body safety activity sheets, reading books, and promoting behaviors that boost their sense of self respect and understanding of consent and appropriate behavior is, in many ways, just good parenting. f
Prioritize Safety at All Ages
Even teens that are out socializing with friends, babysitting for other families, or are starting their first job, still need protection from sexual harassment and assault. With increased independence they are exposed to more people than we will ever be able to know, and thus it’s important that they know that being abused is still not their fault. From infants and toddlers, grade school children, to teens, we offer resources to help you Rock the Talk® and speak up when necessary to help keep children safe from sexual abuse.
The Mama Bear Effect is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization. We hope you will take a moment to learn more about our work, our free resources, and visit our shop for educational materials.
Make A Tax Deductible Donation
