Rock the Talk® – Babysitter Body Safety Checklist

babysitter holding child on lap

Whether you’re a childcare professional or looking for guidance on hiring a new babysitter, there are many important factors to consider when taking on or entrusting someone with the responsibility of caring for a child.

The first four years of a child’s life are essential to healthy development, a child’s ability to thrive is the direct result of the nurturing care and environments that provide the safety and security needed to grow in confidence, curiosity, and understanding of healthy relationships.

Babysitting can be a challenging job, and not all in this field enjoy working with children. The high cost of childcare can also put tremendous stress on parents to find an option that is affordable and safe. Thankfully, many childcare providers genuinely enjoy caring for children and seek to provide a safe and engaging experience for the families they serve, however the burden is on parents to vet providers and ultimately make the decision who to trust.

Perpetrators have been known to seek out positions to care for children in order to abuse and exploit them, or with the intention of enabling an accomplice to commit abuse. Such stories are often in the news involving adult and many female perpetrators, in many cases production of child sexual abuse material plays a role as it can be very easy to exploit children in vulnerable situations, such as bathing/diaper changes.

Perpetrators have been known to seek out positions to care for children

Additionally, child-on-child sexual abuse is very common – an estimated 35-40% of all child sexual abuse being perpetrated by other juveniles- it is important to acknowledge this risk.  Caregivers should be prepared to take appropriate action to reduce opportunity for abuse, understand how to redirect inappropriate behaviors, and identify when behaviors are problematic and need further intervention. Another complication in protecting children in childcare settings, is a lack of required training or following of mandated reporting laws. It is not an uncommon occurrence for abuse to be ignored or covered up in order to protect a perpetrator and avoid negative press. It takes moral courage and strong, committed leadership to truly prioritize safety, even in the face of a possible scandal.

So how do we sort the good from the bad? The safe from the unsafe? How can a great childcare provider improve their services by increasing safety standards to protect children from sexual abuse?

1. Creating a Culture of Safety

A childcare provider that prioritizes safety will seek to establish screening tools, training, protocol, and policies with staff and children that supports appropriate behaviors, boundaries, and reduces opportunity for abuse. When leadership does not address safety, the lack of communication, inappropriate behaviors may go unnoticed, employees may not know how to respond if they have a suspicion, and children will be less aware of what is appropriate.

There are a number of online and in-person abuse-prevention training and planning resources, such as: Darkness to Light, Safe Kids Thrive, and Parenting Safe Children.

Vetting caregivers means that families and employers have a right to ask if a prospective caregiver has ever been implicated in an allegation of sexual abuse or inappropriate behaviors with a child. Have they ever been solicited by someone else to touch a child sexually or take inappropriate or explicit photos of a child? Statistically, when females perpetrate sexual abuse against children, it is also done in tandem with a male offender. The female may create situations that allow the male perpetrator to gain access to the child, or the female may sexually abuse the child in front of the male accomplice or take photos/video of the abuse.

2. Understanding Appropriate Behaviors

Because children learn from and internalize the behavior of others, it is invaluable that caregiving adults understand the implications of their interactions with children. Some key situations to consider:

  • Promoting bodily autonomy with children of all ages – reading their body language and respecting their right to personal space when they do not want physical contact – being picked up unnecessarily, tickled, kissed, hugged, poked etc.
  • Not taking photos or video of children when they are in the bathtub, on the toilet, etc.
  • Encouraging children to be involved in their personal care as much as possible – wiping themselves, dressing, etc.
  • Promoting privacy when possible – as children or adults are using the toilet, getting dressed, or having their diaper changed
  • Intervening when behaviors between children are not appropriate, redirecting children and promoting appropriate interactions
  • Avoiding promoting the idea of “secrets” – a tool which can be used by perpetrators to bond with a child and weaking their bond with protective adults
  • Not using pet names for genitals which can create confusion in a child’s communication and enable perpetrators to make sexual contact seem fun
  • Treating children equally and not giving preferential treatment to one child or a group of children – ex. gift giving, special privileges

3. Reducing Risk for Abuse

Grooming behaviors are seemingly friendly interactions with a child that reduce their understanding of appropriate behaviors and create a bond with the child to gain their trust. Grooming behaviors are usually not criminal in nature, which is why having clear protocol to reduce the opportunity for grooming is important.

  • Minimizing or potentially eliminating tickling, horsing around, and other behaviors which can desensitize children to excessive touching.
  • Enforcing equal care of all children and eliminating “secret” situations, communication, gift-giving etc.
  • Reducing 1:1 situations so that staff and children are not alone, setting up rooms that are easily supervised through windows, security cameras, open spaces.
  • Eliminating areas and situations that are difficult to observe or interrupt (for example, in one case of abuse a daycare worker inappropriately touched children inside of a tube slide on the playground out of sight from other staff).

4. Enforcing Policies & Being Prepared to Report

Policies to protect children also protect the business and caregivers. When steps are not taken to improve safety for children, grooming behaviors and dangerous situations are often enabled – increasing the risk of an allegation or disclosure of abuse. Childcare providers should be ready to respond and take action when policies are procedures are not followed or there is a suspicion or allegation of abuse. Investing the time to train new staff and current staff on a regular basis, and communicating policies to families shows a commitment to caring for children.

5. Engaging Parents

Parents play the most significant role in empowering and protecting their children. A child that is not educated and empowered at home to understand appropriate behaviors may need increased supervision & redirection by caregivers. Being upfront with parents about body safety, sharing resources or coordinating a group training will be of immense value to new parents or those who have not yet had exposure to body safety education.

Parent Tip:

Arrive Unexpectedly

Parents should occasionally arrive early or stop by unexpectedly to observe caregivers and the environment of the center/home when they do not expect the parent to be present.

Checklist for Parents:

  • How do you feel about a caregiver taking photos of your child? What kinds of photos would you not want taken? Are you comfortable with them posting photos on social media or sharing with others?
  • What is the ratio of caregivers to children? Do you think this is manageable/ideal?
  • Does a daycare provider allow staff to keep their phones on them during work hours? Are there rules about taking photos of children or allowing children to play on their phone?
  • If a daycare provider allows non-staff (a spouse, child of their own or other person) to interact and spend time with children, or a babysitter invites friends to stop by while caring for your child, are you comfortable with this?
  • How would you want a caregiver to handle a situation such as children exposing or sharing their genitals/buttocks?
  • Do you want caregivers bathing your child?
  • Do you want caregivers to maintain privacy for themselves when they use the toilet while caring for young children?
  • Do caregivers seem genuine in their interest to care for children?
  • Does the caregiver share information and ask questions so they can keep you informed and provide the best care for your child?
  • How long do you feel another person should be entrusted in the care of a child? Just as parents experience burnout, so do caregivers – no matter how well they are being paid.
  • Does your caregiver have a romantic interest or partner – what do you know about this person and their relationship?
  • If an acquaintance offered free or low cost babysitting, or was willing to drive a long distance to care for your child, would you consider this a red flag?
  • How would you respond to behaviors or situations that make you feel uncomfortable? (More guidance on that here)

6. The Body Safety Check-in

When children have been in the care of others, taking the time to talk and check in on how their time was spent can give children the opportunity to discuss or ask questions about things that may have made them feel uncomfortable, unsure, or even make a disclosure if necessary. Disclosing abuse or talking about inappropriate situations can be difficult for children, which is why it is important for us, as the adults, to create opportunities to encourage such discussions without fear, shame, or embarrassment. The more that we remind children that they have rights and we are there to protect and advocate for them, the more likely children will truly understand it and advocate for themselves as well.

Family & Friend Caregivers Are not Exempt

The rules we apply to external caregivers should also apply to those we know and trust the most. At times, parents may feel drawn to make the easy choice – to allow an older sibling, grandparent, or even a romantic partner to care for their children. It is important to not lower our guard and to acknowledge that the risk of abuse increases with family & friends. Their education on the issues of child sexual abuse prevention is just as important. Our commitment to prioritizing the safety of our children.

Statistically:

The risk of abuse increases with family & friends

Special Note for Parents of Children with Disabilities

Because children with disabilities often are in contact with an increased number of people involved in their care, from transportation, therapy, school, and personal care, there are stricter precautions that caregivers should take. Please visit our page regarding this issue to learn more.

Entrusting people to care for a child is not simply an agreement – it’s a continuous exchange. Caregivers must show that they are trustworthy and parents must also take the time to assess whether or not the people they trust to care for their child are worthy of that role. Situations can change, people can change – it’s important to be open to dissolving a caregiving relationship if one or both parents feel confident that it’s right for their child.

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